Wearing the Mentor Mantle

I had a makeover this week...or at least my face did. I ran out of eyeliner...completely out. I had worn down all the little bits and samples I had until I couldn't hold them any longer. I need to put in a Mary Kay order, but I just haven't gotten in touch with those who regularly order from me. Rob was shopping for shoes and dress pants at Sears (he's out of town next week on business) and I wandered by the make-up counters.

The woman was very helpful, asking what brand do I normally use, is a pencil or a twist etc. I explained that I normally used Mary Kay, but that I had tried some products new to me earlier in the year. I lowered my voice..."I had breast cancer," I said. "I went through the Look Good, Feel Better program and used a number of different and new products."

That started, not only a new look -- I now wear slate coloured eyeliner -- but also lead to her talking about her mother who also had breast cancer. It turns out this woman is my age and scared of developing the disease. She had many, many questions...how did I discover it, what was my treatment. Meanwhile, I went from trying a new colour of eyeliner, to a bit of mascara, some tinted moisturizer (which, I really like and will probably order some the next time I place a Mary Kay order). Then she added a bit of eyeshadow, some blush and little bit of lip gloss. The entire time I answered questions and watched Rob drift in and out of my peripheral vision.

I rarely bring up the topic with strangers, but in this case I, well, I felt compelled. And, as I have been all along throughout my treatment I was open and honest about what I went through. She was the nicest woman and before each question she would say..."now don't answer if you feel this is too personal..." But I did answer and I think perhaps it helped her; for herself and possibly understanding her mother.

We never know who we're going to meet along the road we travel. We don't know what chance comment is going to impact a person or what seemingly trivial information we pass along may become life-changing for another. In the end I gave her my blog address to share with her mother. I don't know if they'll look at it, but if they do hopefully they'll see that each one of us is taking her own journey and with the help of mentors we'll come through it with the elixir and a personal strength. And, if we're very lucky we'll find out more about what's inside of us, than what's outside. Although...a new eyeliner can go a long way towards making you feel like a new woman.

Post Surgery

It is Monday, almost a week since I had surgery and I'm feeling really good. I still look like I am a junky with needle marks and bruises all over my arm. I counted, and as near as I can tell the good anesthetist tried at least a dozen times to find a vein in my right arm before admitting defeat and moving to my left. The bruises have reached that stage where they are a lovely green/yellow with the dark purple center. Ah well...we'll just call them war wounds.

I'm not feeling any pain and haven't taken so much as a Tylenol since Friday. Yesterday Rob and I took Cole for a brief walk. He was so wound up...the poor dog has cabin fever big time, but he doesn't like to be outdoors by himself. He is such a big baby.

I have a follow-up appointment with my gynecologist on April 7. I'm still waiting for an appointment with my plastic surgeon, but don't really expect to have one until June.

Richard and Dianne sent a huge basket of fruit to help me get well. It was too heavy for me to lift. Of course I'm only allowed to lift up to five pounds...so it doesn't take much, a pot of water is too heavy to lift. I've had cards from Gale Gal Joyce, Aunt Myrtle and Kathy from Colorado in the last week or so. Ryan and Denise brought out the fruit basket for Di and Richard and brought me a bottle of red wine as well. We had a great visit with them. We had locked the dogs up so they wouldn't be in their faces all evening and Denise insisted we let them out so she could say hi to them before they left.

Everything is going smoothly...hopefully no set backs will occur and I'll be healthy to enjoy the spring and summer this year.

Home Again

It is so good to be home again. I got home early this afternoon and immediately curled up on the couch and slept. Last night I was interrupted regularly from sleeping by the nurses and the helicopter landing on the roof.

Overall, feeling pretty good. A little tired, a little gassy, a little sore. I've been taking Extra Strenght Tylenol to control the discomfort.

Thank you to everyone for your good thoughts and best wishes. I received a card from Gale Gal Joyce yesterday.

I'll write more in a few days...I'm ready to curl up on the couch again.

Surgery over. All is well.

Hey folks, Rob here.

Sue is out of surgery and recuperating at the IWK. It took them about 45 minutes this morning just to find a viable vein to start the anesthetic IV, and she bled a little more than expected, so between those two things her surgery didn't end until around 1:00 or so. They were supposed to start at 8:45 and be done by noon, so by the time the surgeon came out to talk to me I was starting to climb the walls of the waiting room. However, she said everything went well and there was no visual evidence of any abnormalities to worry about. I'm assuming they'll take some tissue samples and do a path report, but I may be wrong on that.

Sue looked *much* better when they brought her up to her room than she looked after her first surgery. No nausea either. They suppposedly gave her some motion sickness meds before moving her upstairs, and she kept her eyes closed as well to try and head off any vertigo.

Barring any setbacks she'll be able to come home tomorrow, hopefully in the morning.

Thanks to all of you who sent thoughts, prayers and best wishes!

Phase 2

In the morning I'll have surgery again. This time to prevent possible development of cancer down the road. The BRCA1 gene makes me more susceptible to developing ovarian cancer than the average person. Because science has yet to develop a reliable test I'm opting to remove my ovaries and uterus in an effort to mitigate the risk.

My surgery is expected to take about three hours. I'm having a laproscopic assisted hysterectomy and I expect to hospitalized one night.

I had lunch will Kelly and Marion today, finished and assignment for my course, did some laundry, picked up a few groceries and I'm making a turkey for supper (so we'll have leftovers for a few days). I should be vacuuming the house as well...but I've run out of energy.

We attended a funeral for Rob's uncle Ken this week. All of his aunts were fussing over me and wishing me the best of luck for tomorrow. Hey, anything I can do to distract them from the loss of their brother.

Rob will update my blog, just as he did when I had my last surgery. I'll try to get on by the weekend, but no promises.

One Year

A year ago today I had my first appointment at the Cancer Center. I started chemo two days later. I can't believe it has been a year.

A lot has happened during that time. Surprisingly a lot of it was good. I may have lost my hair to the disease, but it has grown back. Now I have curls, which is a novelty and I look pretty good in short hair. In fact my new driver's licence photo may be the best one I've ever had taken.

I've grown closer to family and friends...this may be evidenced by the 154 cards I received and the numerous trinkets and gifts.

I've learned to cherish the small moments as well as the big ones.

I got to participate in Casting for Recovery.

After more than 50 trips across the city I appreciate the fact that I live here and didn't have to drive into the capital from eleswhere in the province. However, after all of this I very much want to move back to the country where I have space to grow a garden and room to roam.

I appreciate the fact that I have a good drug plan. Out of pocket I paid $145.25 for my various prescriptions. Less than I paid for parking which came in around $190.

Yesterday I had a follow-up appointment with my radiation oncologist. He is very pleased with my progress and won't need to see me again. Follow-up from here on in can be done by my family doctor and my surgeon.

Really?

Who could imagine that after the year I've had I can be checked twice a year by my family doctor and once a year by my surgeon? Shouldn't I have monthly blood work? Scans? Tests? But no; no blood work, no tests, no scans. Check ups are basic and consist mostly of examining my chest wall for signs of lumps. It is a little scary. I don't want to go through this ever again.

My doctor says it will probably take a year for my skin to completely recover from radiation. It is still discolored (it looks like I was in the sun and my shirt had a big hole in it). The area on my neck where the skin blistered is still itchy and he says it will continue to be for awhile.

Tomorrow starts the next little chapter of my adventure. I attend a pre-surgery clinic for my hysterectomy. The main event is scheduled for next Wednesday (March 10).