Blessings Abound

Firstly, thank you to each and every one of you who said prayers or sent positive energy my way over the past week, heck the past months. Your ongoing support has given me (and Rob as well) strength and courage throughout this journey.

I'm doing well. I'm not too sore. I've been describing the pain as feeling like I've done too many arm exercises at the gym. If I move too quickly I get a twinge. I sometimes feel like I have electricity running down the back of my left arm...I think this is because the nerves are stressed/damaged from the surgery. I find I'm bothered most at night when I try to get comfortable to sleep. I'm a belly sleeper and trying to fall asleep on my back is next to impossible. I've finally figured out a way to sleep on my right side with a pillow supporting my left arm...it is workable. My biggest concern is getting tangled in the drains or blocking them inadvertently while I sleep. Hopefully they are removed on Thursday as expected.

The drains are attached to me by long, thin, clear tubes and they're a little bigger than a large egg. I have to empty them three times a day and record how much fluid they contain. I'm afraid of bending one of the tubes in my sleep and having the fluid back-up somewhere. I'm sure wherever that is, won't be good. I've been given a pouch to keep them in. I sling it across my body and for the most part it keeps them out of the way.

I'm bruised on my left arm; I assume this is due to the removal of the lymph nodes on that side. I've been doing my exercises. I have to be able to raise that arm and tuck it behind my head before I go to the radiation lab to get marked for the next course of treatment. That session is only a few weeks away.

Everyone has been amazing. I've received numerous notes through Facebook, the comment section on my blog, plus emails and phone calls. I went out to supper with some people from work on Wednesday night and Lucy gave me a big bunch of flowers. Rob's parents sent a second bunch to the house when I got out of hospital. I also received a card from Beth, Deb and Linda from work. Plus we've been eating extremely well. Debbie and Dianne brought boxes of food with them. Kelly gave us jars of her special Alfredo sauce and a casserole her dad made. Marion gave us an M&M Meat card.

Going back to the original analogy of the Hero's Journey, it is fair to say I've reached the cave and found the elixir. Now I just have to learn to understand it before I can move back to my own world. I still have a long way to go. Radiation will take five weeks this fall and I need to build up my strength again. In September I also meet with the gyne-oncologist to discuss the options surrounding my ovaries and the likelihood of developing ovarian cancer. But I know with the support Rob and I have behind us that we can get through all the remaining hurdles.

Home

Hi, Rob again. Sue's home, but she's not quite up to blogging yet so I said I'd fill in. She's doing well. They were a little concerned with the amount of fluid in one of her drains last night, so they took some blood to measure her hemoglobin levels. Turns out they're fine, but it did delay her release a bit. She was seen by a resident this morning, who wanted her to stay until the end of the day to make sure everything was going OK. It was, and they let her go around suppertime. She's a little sore, but not too bad, considering. We stopped and picked up some over-the-counter pain relievers on the way home. Amazing that plain ol' Tylenol can handle post-surgery discomfort, but it seems to be doing a pretty good job.

There shouldn't be any major changes in the next couple of days, so the next update can probably wait until Sue's feeling up to the task. If anything happens of note, one of us will post an update. Thanks again to everyone for the thoughts, prayers and encouragement!

"It went like a dream. Couldn't have gone better."

That's a direct quote from the surgeon who operated on Sue this morning.

We got to the hospital shortly after 6am and took care of the check-in and paperwork and such until around 7:30 when they took her into the O.R. The operation was supposed to start at 7:30 and end around 11. Instead, they didn't actually start operating until 8:30, and by 10:25 Dr. Ginny was delivering the good news. Since the operation was shorter than anticipated, so was the stay in recovery. We (Deb and Di were waiting with me) were waiting when Sue arrived in her room, groggy and nauseous, around noon. She did vomit a few times then and again later when she got up to go to the bathroom (anesthetic drugs, I would assume), but she managed a few quick naps over the course of the afternoon and got progressively stronger with each one. Barring any unexpected hiccups, she should be released tomorrow morning.

We'll have to wait on the pathology report to see exactly what was in the tissue they removed, but Dr. Ginny said she could only identify one lymph node affected by the cancer. She also said there didn't seem to be any tissue damage from the chemo, although the anesthetist did have to put the intravenous in her left arm because of the chemo damage to the veins in her right. It also appears she only has two drains instead of the expected three.

I can't begin to describe the feeling of relief that washed over me as the doctor shared the good news. Up to that point I had been handling things pretty well, but it was all I could do to hold it together as she spoke. I knew on some level we were both stressed over this operation, but I had perhaps underestimated the weight of the load.

I'll let Sue take it from here, except to say thanks again to everyone for their calls, cards, emails, Facebook & blog posts, etc. over the past few days. Thanks so much to my sisters for being there with us this morning. Admittedly, I'm more than a little introverted and independent, and find it exceedingly difficult to admit that I might need some support, but it was very much appreciated.

- Rob

The Big Day

It's early Thursday morning. Much earlier than I would normally be awake. Most of my closest associates know I'm not a morning person. Today is the big day and we'll leave here in a few minutes to make our way to the hospital. My surgery is at 7:30.

I want to thank everyone for their prayers, their positive energy and the food. My fridge overfloweth.

Last night was one of those nights where neither of us slept well. I'm not sure how much was nerves and how much was the restless dog, the loudly purring cat, Rob's heartburn and that paranoia that creeps into you when the alarm is set hours earlier than normal and you're afraid you'll sleep thought it.

Rob will update the blog later today to let everyone know surgery went dazzlingly well and that I'm back to my room. Barring no unforeseen issues I'll be home again tomorrow and I'll blog in a few days.

The Countdown

I can't believe it has been a week since I last blogged. I've been extremely busy with life and trying hard not to think too much about the upcoming surgery.

Last Tuesday I made a flying trip to the Valley, where Wally's family went to the Exhibition with me. It was hot and dusty, but a great day. We toured the barns, watched some of the classes and ate the best french fries in the world. The picture is of baby chicks from the livestock display at the fairgrounds.

On Wednesday my dear friends Dorothy and Jim were in the city and I met with them for a couple of hours in the afternoon. It was wonderful to visit with them. Dorothy and I talked about people we know and Jim and I discussed a couple of books we have both read. I hope I'll see my coffee buddies again, sooner rather than later.

Wednesday night we dropped the dogs off at Mom's and had a chance to visit Aunt Pat and Aunt Lori, who is home from out west with Uncle Bob for a few weeks. We left bright and early on Thursday and were in Toronto and settled in our hotel early in the afternoon. We watched Boston beat the Jays, and saw them creamed by LA on Saturday as well. The Sound of Music was wonderful and we also enjoyed just wandering around the city and exploring. We switched flights and left the city late Saturday night instead of Sunday morning because Hurricane Bill was blowing into town and we were afraid we'd be stuck if the Halifax airport was closed. We arrived home in the wee hours of the morning, dog-tired but having beaten Bill by several hours.

Once the storm died down I drove to Mom's to retrieve the dogs and chatted with Dad when he called. He would like to be here this week when I have surgery, but isn't able to get away from work. I can't say I ever expected him to make the trip from the Yukon for a routine surgery. Today I returned to the city and this evening met Kelly, Andrea and Tanya for a movie to celebrate Kelly's birthday. We saw the Time Traveller's Wife. Kelly has the book and is planning on lending it to me.

My surgery is Thursday. I have to be at the hospital at 6 a.m. for prep and I'm scheduled for surgery at 7:30 a.m. -- the first one of the day. The surgery is three to three-and-a-half hours long and then I'm in recovery for a couple of hours. The doctor will remove both my right and the affected left breast, as well as many of the lymph nodes in my left armpit. Rob's sisters, Debbie and Diane, are arriving Wednesday evening and following us into the hospital Thursday morning. Debbie emailed Rob tonight to say they will stay until I'm out of surgery and settled in my room at the hospital. They both have to work on Friday. I'm glad someone will be with Rob in the waiting room; it may help the time pass more quickly.

Dorothy and Jim brought me a card, and today's mail included a card from Sandye who included a packet of recipe cards from the Pampered Chef. The recipes are part of a fundraiser "Whip Breast Cancer" where a dollar from the sale of each package goes towards research. Pretty cool. I can't wait to try some of the recipes, Sandye.

I posted a comment tonight where I was told I was someone's hero, and that I've probably been a mentor to others throughout this journey. I hope this is true and that someone can benefit from my experience. From the beginning I have been surprised by the number of people I've touched and how many of them have reached out to me. Most recently my neighbour's father stopped me as I was trying to retrieve my dogs from their yard. His sister had a biopsy done to her breast and he wondered if he could talk to me about my experience and ask me some questions. I said of course and we chatted for awhile. He called me a day later to say the test results indicated cancer and his sister will be having surgery too. I hope and pray she'll do fine, just as people have been hoping and praying I'll do fine.

I don't know if I'll blog again before my surgery; but I'll ask Rob to make a post to let everyone know how surgery went when he gets home Thursday.

The Road Ahead

We've talked a lot about mentors in relation to the Hero's journey. Sometimes these are people who simply provide information to better prepare the Hero for the next leg of the journey. Sometimes, through these mentors the Hero meets other people who provide additional information. Today I met with Lisa, a nurse with the Breast Health Clinic. She talked to me about the upcoming surgery and the details around it. She also called for an anesthetic consultation as well.

Never having had any surgery before, the upcoming event has me a little nervous. Where do I go? Who do I see? Do I need my pajamas? Where can Rob sit and when can he see me again? What happens after surgery? What is a drain and how big is it? What do I do with a drain? And what do I need to do to look after myself post-surgery?

Lisa and I talked for about two hours this morning as she walked me through everything from when I arrive at the hospital and register to the exercises I'll need to do at home. She even has my follow-up appointments scheduled for September; the first to check/remove my drains and the second to review the pathology report on the tissue removed.

Lisa showed me a drain and how to work it. She had one in her office and let me play with it to see how it feels and how it works. She also showed me the arm exercises I need to do following surgery and answered my questions about mobility. She's also sent on a referral to the lymphedema clinic (today a standard procedure). It's much easier to try to prevent lymphedema than it is to manage it.

Overall it was a lot of information to take in. I took copious notes, but Lisa also ensured everything was written down in the handbook I received. In addition she asked lots of questions and filled out the pre-op paperwork for the surgery.

Because I've had chemo, which is hard on the heart, she had me have an electro-cardiogram (ECG) and meet with an anesthesiologist. He too had a bunch of questions for me, and after discussing my treatment thus far and reviewing the ECG was quite confident I wouldn't have any problems with being put under. He also explained they would put in a tube to help me breathe during surgery, but that it would be removed immediately following the operation, before I wake up.

Overall the surgery will take about three-and-a-half hours and then a couple more in recovery. Rob will be able to stay with me until I go into surgery and then he'll have to wait in the waiting room. We're both a little nervous about the upcoming surgery, so it is nice we're going away this weekend.

The visit with Trudy and her girls was a lot of fun. We took Emily and Grace geocaching and on Sunday we all went to Kelly's Beach Day where we went clam digging and played in the waves.

In today's mail I received a card from Kathy E. Tomorrow I'm headed to the Valley and the Exhibition with Jen and the kids.

A Clear Path

Sometimes when the Hero is most confused, he meets a mentor. This is a person who will provide information to help redirect the Hero, or at least give him tools to make decisions about the next phase of his journey. Yesterday I met with the latest in a long string of mentors on my travels -- the plastic surgeon.

I felt many of the decisions I needed to make were being sidelined because I was missing information only this doctor could provide. One breast or two, reconstruction options and most importantly -- timelines. Yesterday all of these questions were answered.

First off I will have both breasts removed on August 27. My original concern was if I did, I would have to wait years for reconstruction. My plastic surgeon assured me yesterday I was now on his patient list and he will do reconstruction when my body has healed. However, having said that, I won't have new breasts right away. He won't meet with me again until six months after radiation, and it could be several more months following that before reconstruction can be scheduled.

He reviewed the reconstruction options available and we discussed the pros and cons of each. The first option (really a non-option because I will be having radiation) is a straightforward implant. The surgeon places a "balloon" under the chest muscle and stretches the area to insert either a saline or silicon implant. However, there is a relatively high incidence of the breast becoming misshapen over time as the tissue treated by radiation constricts. My doctor says although the surgery and recovery time for this option are both minimal, he would not recommend this for me.

The second option is latissimus dorsi, a surgery which uses the muscle and tissue from the back. The flap and its blood supply are tunnelled under the skin just below the armpit. It is then put into position to make a new breast shape. An implant may also be used to provide additional fullness. My surgeon says he makes an incision in the back which will be covered by the bra or swimsuit strap, so the scarring isn't an issue. The surgery can take six to seven hours and patients are usually hospitalized for two to three days. At home recovery time is relatively quick. And while I won't be swinging a tennis racket the next week, my day-to-day activities shouldn't be too hampered (Rob may have to vacuum for a week or two). This is most likely the surgery I will pursue when the time is right.

The final option uses the skin and muscle from the stomach region. This is a "free flap" surgery where the tissue and blood supply is completely removed and relocated to the breast. The patient gets new breasts and a "tummy tuck". It is, however, the most complicated of the surgeries and can last 12 hours or more. Post-surgery recovery time is five days in hospital and six to eight weeks afterwards as the stomach heals. There is also a failure rate of 1 in 20, in which the blood supply doesn't work and the new breast doesn't "take". This surgery also leaves scarring between the two hipbones. As my surgeon says it is the biggest upfront investment for long-term gain.

The good news is if I do decide on option three, he says I have enough tissue for at least a "B" sized breast and possibly even a "C". I'm not sure how I feel being told I have enough stomach fat to make two "C" size breasts. The other upside is I've again been told not to worry about losing weight or toning the stomach area; they need all the tissue they can get.

The surgeon was quite adamant I should have both breasts removed immediately. Not only for my own peace of mind, but because it will leave symmetrical tissue and scars for him to work with later. I'm just glad to have the meeting behind me and to be able to move ahead with some decisions. It means I'll truly be able to enjoy my weekend with Trudy and her girls without having this hanging over my head.

Trudy and her daughters -- Emily and Grace -- are arriving tonight and staying until Sunday. It will actually be a fairly busy weekend as Sunday is also Kelly's beach day. Her family and friends meet at a nearby park/beach and they go clam digging and have a big picnic. I'm hoping to take Trudy and the girls, but if not I'll head out there after they hit the road.

I think I neglected to mention a couple of cards recently received -- the Colorado group sent one as did my Aunt Trudy. Now I must go vacuum and tidy my house for my company. Can't leave the dust bunnies...they're big enough to scare Emily and Grace....