Rebecca's Wedding

Pictured here are: Rebecca with her dad, Bruce, walking down the aisle; Rebecca and John following the ceremony; Bruce, Debbie, John, Rebecca, Eileen and Darrell.

Throughout this journey I held up one milestone as a must-attend event in my mind -- the wedding of our niece Rebecca. The fact that it fell immediately after my last chemo has been somewhat symbolic for me, so it was with a very light heart that we made the seven-hour round trip to Rob's parents' this weekend to attend the event.

The weather all week was unsettled, to say the least. We've experienced torrential rains, thunderstorms, and the sun was nowhere to be seen -- until Friday when when it made a brief appearance. Even Saturday morning showers threatened the outdoor event, but the rain held off and the sun made another brief appearance and the ceremony itself was sunny and hot.

The wedding ceremony took place in the gardens of the home where Rebecca grew up. The new owners have created the type of landscape you expect to see in a magazine -- complete with meandering paths, hidden seats, statuary and water features. The back of the yard has a flat open area where the chairs were placed and the bride and groom had a backdrop of lush trees behind them. The music was violin and a friend of the couple sang during the ceremony.

The reception was held at the local Heritage Society building and featured a buffet of cheesecakes. Only Rebecca's brother Paul was missing; he's overseas with the military, but he sent an email which Andrew read at the reception. Both Rebecca and John became quite emotional when thanking their respective families for making this a special day.

That evening Rob's sister Diane and her husband and son (Richard and Ryan) came out to the house to visit for awhile. It was really nice to have a chance to visit with family both at the wedding and afterwards. Often we don't get to see the nieces and nephews because they're all grown up and living their own lives, many of them in other parts of the country. It was really nice to spend time with Isaac and Leanne (Debbie's second-oldest son and his partner), who we haven't seen in several years.

We left mid-morning on Sunday. I had an appointment with the VON at home and was already starting to ache a little when we left Rob's parents. Based on my previous experience, I knew even with the Celebrex, Sunday and Monday were going to be uncomfortable -- which they were. I think the drive, the heat and not sleeping well all combined to make me quite achy yesterday.

The whole VON experience has been frustrating. When the nurse arrived Sunday she discovered the dosage info was missing from the paperwork (it was on the box with the vials) and because it was Sunday, there was no way to obtain it. Despite a flurry of phone calls back and forth with her office, the end result was I was not able to receive my first injection on Sunday as prescribed. The nurses have reams of paperwork to fill out at the patient's home, and they aren't issued cell phones so they have to use the client's phone to contact the next client. Not that using our phone was a problem, it just seems inefficient.

When the nurse left she assured me I would be flagged for the next morning and a nurse would come out as soon as the dosage was faxed to the office. I left a message with the Cancer Center explaining what had happened and my oncology nurse contacted me Monday morning to say she would get the information to them. The VON didn't arrive until 4:30. I finally received my needle, but it was more than 24 hours late.

I also broke a tooth on the weekend. This too poses a challenge; I have to see when I can get into the dentist, and he then has to confer with my oncologist to discuss treatment and minimizing the risk of infection etc. I'm not supposed to have any dental work done during my treatment.

Finally, I'll wrap up this post by saying I received a card/bookmark in the mail from Kathy E. Kathy's ears were probably burning over the weekend because I was asking Richard and Diane all about her. I hope we'll get a chance to meet on a visit later in the year.

Ring the Bell -- Last Chemo Done!

The Hero's Journey eventually leads to the inmost cave where he vanquishes the bad guy, grabs the elixir and returns home to share all his secrets. I'm not quite there yet, but today marks a huge milestone in my treatment -- the end of chemotherapy!

I wasn't alone either. Four other patients wrapped up their chemo regimens today as well. When a patient finishes treatment, they are allowed -- no, encouraged -- by the nurses to ring a bell in the chemo ward and share the good news with everyone there. The remaining patients cheer and clap for those who are moving on to their next phase. This was the first time I had witnessed this joyful tradition and I was kind of jazzed to take part in it myself. The nurses were wonderful, hugging each of the bell-ringers in turn and telling us the next time they see us it had better be somewhere other than the hospital.

We stopped on the way home for ice cream to celebrate the momentous occasion.

But before leaving the hospital I picked up the medication to boost my white blood cells. Today's chemo nurse told me to expect aches in the major joints and the long bones of my legs because the marrow will be working extra hard to create new cells rapidly, and it can't get them into my blood stream quickly enough so it feels like there isn't enough room for all the cells. I've been told to take extra strength Tylenol every four hours and Advil if I need something more. I start the injections on Sunday, with the VON coming out to help with at least the first one.

Meanwhile, the mailbox has been busy. I received cards from Diane and Richard, Debbie B (Rob's former sister-in-law) and Lisa. Lisa's card included a token to help focus my energy on healing. Thank you also to all who have left notes on my Facebook page and/or emailed me. I believe the ongoing support I've received has made this part of my journey bearable. The road is still long, but I feel strong and ready to take on the next phase with everyone behind me.

This weekend is Rebecca's wedding and we'll be hitting the road tomorrow afternoon and spending two nights with Rob's parents. We haven't been there since March when we spent one night with his mother and visited his dad in hospital. They don't have Internet access so there won't be any updates until Sunday night or Monday (depending on how I'm feeling post chemo).

It is Official -- I am a Mutant

The Hero can often identify those days which mark a change in his journey, or somehow impact the direction of his future. Today was one of those days. Today was the day I got the results of the genetic testing, and it is official, I carry the BRCA1 mutation.

Really, it would have been a surprise to learn I didn't carry the BRCA1 mutation. Having it confirmed by my genetic counsellor today answers a lot of questions -- why does a 40-year-old woman with no family history of breast cancer have this disease? Why does her cancer not fall into the normal expected parameters? Now we know I do have the mutation and we can make decisions based on sound medical data. According to the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation women who carry a mutation in the BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene have a 50 to 85 per cent risk of developing breast cancer.

What this means for me, is instead of having only the affected breast surgically removed, I will have what is known as a prophylactic mastectomy, the removal of my unaffected breast to reduce the risk of developing another tumor. The genetics counsellor is also going to set up a consultation with a gynecological oncologist to discuss the possibility of having my ovaries removed, as women who have the BRCA1 mutation also have an increased risk of developing ovarian cancer, which, unlike breast cancer, is difficult to detect. Having had cancer once, I'm not keen on having it a second time and will consider all my options to lower potential risks.

Today was also my last pre-chemo blood work and check-up. My doctor is very pleased with the way the tumors have responded to chemo. The drop in my white blood cell count and subsequent hospitalization last week means I will be adding a new drug to my regime this time around. I'll need to take medication by injection for seven days to stimulate blood cell growth. My nurse has arranged for the VON to come in and give me the injections and, if I'm comfortable with it, to teach me how to give myself the shot. We'll see.

Today we also talked more about the next phase of treatment -- surgery. We talked about the timing of reconstruction...during my mastectomy or after radiation. Having both done at once complicates both the surgery and the scheduling because it must fit the schedule of the plastic surgeon too. I want to have the surgery done as soon as possible and my oncologist also feels sooner is better than waiting what could be months -- from both a physical and an emotional standpoint. So she'll be in touch with my surgeon again and we'll get it scheduled. Ideally they like to do it about four weeks following the final chemo treatment.

This was my last appointment with my oncologist until a follow-up appointment in November. I've kind of gotten used to the routine and was a little out of sorts leaving the clinic today. I'm sure this feeling will pass quickly, but everyone takes comfort in their routines -- even the unpleasant ones.

On a brighter note, today's mail had a card from Aunt Lori and Uncle Bob.

Chemo Countdown

This is it, the final week of chemo. I'm mostly over my annoying cold, although I find I still have a cough which kicks up in the evening, usually around bedtime. Tomorrow is my regular check-up, as well as my appointment with my genetics counsellor.

This weekend we kept pretty busy in spite of the rain. On Saturday we went to the mall and did a little shopping, then we came home and played Scrabble and Wii. On Sunday Rob and I visited Wally, Jen and kids at their home. In addition to celebrating Father's Day they were celebrating Jen's birthday too. Jen and Wally both loaned me a couple of books because my stash was getting low.

Today Kelly and I went shopping so I could find something to wear for Reba's wedding on the weekend. Her sisters Deanna and Andrea were also with us for awhile and all of us had lunch together. I finally found something summery and around the price I was willing to pay. I never did find shoes, but I have a pair here I think will be okay. After trying on numerous hats we found one that fits and complements the outfit. Either I have a really small head, or hats are made to be worn with hair. It took trying on a lot of hats to find one that fit well. I think I'll look for a bit of ribbon to fasten to it as it is a little plain right now.

I have received several cards since I last posted. Deb B, the local Contract management team, Ilene W. and Trudy have all sent greetings to cheer me on.

I can't begin to express how excited I am that I'm facing my last chemo treatment. I've heard from other people how they endured 60 plus treatments and I'm amazed. But you do you what you have to do when you are faced with adversity. Let's face it, the alternative isn't one most of us are quite ready to face.

Relay for Life a Moving Experience

Guest Blog by Kelly Brant

Henry Longfellow said, “The best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain.”

The Hero’s Journey team took Longfellow’s words to heart this past weekend as we took part in the annual Relay for Life. We came together to walk for 12 hours through the night in honour and in memory of our friends and family touched by cancer. The rain started early on Friday and stayed with us until about 9 p.m., as a result the field was soaked, as were we, but that didn’t stop us.

Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never watched Dana dance in the rain. For those who know her, you know she brings an energy that very few can match and which touches everyone around her. We didn’t need umbrellas, we had Dana.

Susanne came out to the Relay for the Survivor’s reception; however, because of her cold and the rain she wasn’t able to stay for long. We missed her but understood that standing around wet was not the best thing for her.

St. Elizabeth Seton Catholic Church, across the street from where the Relay is held, opened its doors for the night and served snacks and drinks to the participants and provided entertainment in the form of Bingo. Robyn, Marion and I took advantage of a dry place to sit and came away with a few prizes.

The highlight of the event is the luminary ceremony which was beautiful and moving. The track is lined with white paper bags each with a candle nestled inside. When they are lit, light encircles the field and participants celebrate the lives of those who have beaten cancer and mourn the loss of those who didn’t. It proves you can find light in even the darkest moments.

The lighting of the luminaries is very moving and it became overwhelming for my sister, so she, Marion and I walked a few laps around the track. While walking, I noticed many people bowed in prayer; others hugging one another in comfort. The tears were countless and love was tangible. We witnessed a father holding his young daughter while lighting a luminary which simply read, “In memory of Mom”. Another team was gathered around their luminaries with hands held and heads bowed.

In spite of the rain it was a successful event. The local Staples center had four teams participating in different relays throughout the city and as a whole raised $8014.55 for the Canadian Cancer Society.

On the Mend

So the Hero is often faced with setbacks. I'm told it helps build character; I personally think it is just irritating. My brief hospital stay is already well and truly behind me and my doctor called today to say my last blood test came back clear so I don't need to continue the antibiotics. I still have one more dose of potassium to take. Overall I'm feeling much better. My cough has almost disappeared and although I tire easily I feel like I'm finally on the mend.

Today I went shopping for something to wear to Rebecca's wedding next weekend. With everything that's been going on I have gained some weight so I found it hard to find anything which fit properly. I did finally pick up a pair of pants and a top, but I may take another pass before my next chemo session because I'm not completely happy with my selection. I think Kelly may be able to shop with me on Monday and provide a fresh eye.

I haven't yet included anything about the Relay for Life on my blog. I have a friend putting something together. Rob and I did go, although it was raining in Lower Sackville so we didn't stay for much beyond the Survivors' Lap. It's an emotional event, especially in light of what we've been going through this year. We unfortunately didn't stay to walk or for the luminaries because of the weather. Hopefully next year will be better and we'll take in the whole event.

Speaking of the Relay, I received a postcard from Kathy E. today, who walked the Survivors' Lap in Digby with her brother (he has survived colon cancer). "The lighting of the luminaries was so spectacular," she writes, "and emotional as always. I had a luminary there for you." I've heard there were actually several luminaries lit for me at a couple of different events and I thank everyone for such a strong symbol as the light in the darkness.

Also in the mail was a card from Wally, Jen and the kids. Everyone signed it and Ryan included a drawing for me. I also received a package from Mom. Bonnie M had given her a bracelet to send to me. It looks like it was made for the CIBC as a fundraiser item and is a large-link bracelet featuring a heart and a cancer ribbon with an embedded pink stone. It is a lovely piece and will be fun to wear. Thank you Bonnie. Earlier this week I received a card from Deb G., a colleague at the local office. In all the excitement of getting out of the hospital I think I neglected to mention it earlier.

Last night I had a phone call from my Dad's cousin Linda. I had written her recently to let her know about the cancer and the genetic testing and to inquire if there was any cancer on that side of the family. There apparently is and her sister-in-law Claire has been documenting it and is going to send me the information. It will help create a better picture for everyone. Once I have the genetic testing results I'll send a copy out to her. As near as I can piece together, Linda's mother and Dad's father were siblings. Linda mentioned at least a couple of cases of breast cancer and those women may want to have the genetic testing.

I took Cole for a brief walk this afternoon. Tess doesn't care if she walks or not, but he is exhibiting signs of cabin fever. Tomorrow's weather is looking good, so I'll have to try to get him out again, at least for a quick circle around the block.

There's No Place Like Home

Home again. My white blood cell count has rebounded quickly with today's reading of 1,800 and my doctors freed me this afternoon, but not without sending me home with two types of antibiotics and some potassium supplements. I'm quite happy to be home.

I was transferred to the VG yesterday morning (you can't believe how happy I was to leave the emergency department, wonderful staff but a real mixed-bag of patients). I was transferred between hospitals in the patient transfer ambulance and set up in a room on one of the oncology floors by noon on Sunday.

The staff got me settled into a bed, one which I'm happy to say was adjustable and wide enough to lie on without fear of accidentally rolling off. They started up my IVs again of fluids and antibiotics. I'm not sure (I admit I lost count) but I believe I've had six bags of antibiotics, maybe seven, fed into my veins since I entered the emergency room on Saturday.

Kelly came over shortly after I was settled in and brought me a book, left her deck of cards and ran to the cafeteria to get me a bagel and a coffee instead of letting me eat the solid scrambled eggs and diced carrots which were being served for lunch.

Rob came by with more goodies including my PJs, a book and three presents from my Joy Box. As he so astutely asked, "when do you need joy more than when you're in the hospital?" Pretty good point. The presents included a package of note paper, an address book and note pad, hand cream and green tea. He also got me a puzzle book from the gift shop to help keep me occupied after he left for the evening.

My sides are sore from coughing so much over the last few days. The cough got worse in there because the air is so dry, and doctors don't like suppressing coughs because this can mask other issues.

The staff at the VG was awesome. Last night the nurse brought towels and basins of water around. When I explained I had been warned by Cancer Center staff to not even splash hospital water on my face, she took it away and refilled it with sterile water she heated in the microwave. Then she washed my back and put lotion on it for me. After having been in the ER for almost 24 hours it felt almost decadent. I certainly slept better than the night before, but my cough did keep waking me and I ended up reading for an hour in the middle of the night.

This morning my oncologist was around visiting bright and early. She was very pleased with how quickly my counts were rebounding. She did indicate I'll have to take injections of something after my next chemo treatment to ensure my white blood cell count doesn't drop as far again. I told her I was meeting with the genetics team next week prior to my appointment with her and she was very excited about that piece of news. Then Dr. Younis (my doctor's supervisor) also checked me out. It was the first time since the initial consultation in February that I'd seen him. He seemed very pleased with how well the tumors have responded to chemo.

Now I'm home and ready to curl up on the couch with my pups and nap a little. Thank you everyone for your ongoing support and prayers.

Watch for an upcoming special guest blog this week about the Relay for Life.