Well, as they say, there's no place like home. I'm awfully glad Debbie got me those "ruby" slippers and put them in my Joy Box at the beginning of this journey (so many months ago). They work like a charm. A couple of clicks of the heels and doctors let me go home.
I had surgery on Tuesday, as Rob said it was a long day for him, and a longer night for me. I remember asking the nurse around 4 a.m. if that was really the time. I had a Demerol pump, which I didn't think I used that much, but I was really dopey a lot of Wednesday. I remember my doctors coming in... I don't really remember our conversation. However, having said that, I was up and walking the hallway by the afternoon. Marion and Kelly came to visit, bringing with them a hot turkey dinner (much better than hospital food). I had a needle in my right wrist which made it difficult to use that hand. I was trying to do a crossword puzzle and it turns out I don't print well with my left hand, a deficiency my two left-handed friends couldn't understand. I guess I'll have to practice more.
I was freed from the hospital on Thursday and Rob brought me home. I'm taking Tylenol and Advil for pain, plus antibiotics to avoid infection. I'm pretty much taking it easy. I have six drains to manage so I made a little hand-sewn bag to hold them in which ties around my waist. When I left the hospital they were pinned to my clothes, which wasn't very comfortable.
I have a follow-up appointment Monday and hopefully at least two drains will come out then, but it may take up to three weeks for them all to come out.
As for the new "girls" everyone who's looked at them says they look beautiful. I have to admit its a little hard to tell right now, but I'm sure they're right. I know my green blouse I wore home finally looked right.
Typing is a little uncomfortable, so I'll keep this short. I'll update again on Monday following my appointment.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Another surgery done.
Hey Sue nation. Rob here.
Well, it was a long day all around, but the surgery went very well and she's awake, back in her own private room (an unexpected bonus, as we were expecting a ward bed), and looking forward to resting up and getting back home again. They took her in shortly after 7am, and finished up around 2:30. She spent another three hours in recovery before I got to see her, but she was in a lot better shape and spirits than the last time I saw them wheel her up from recovery!
She has six drains in, and at least some of them will likely be with her for several weeks. She'll be in hospital anywhere from two to four nights, and I expect the release date will be determined by drains, as was the case last time. They made her put on thigh-high compression stockings beforehand, and she'll have to leave them on until she's up and around and the risk of clotting is past. She'll be on blood thinners as well for a few days.
I'll let Sue tell you the rest when she's back home. All is well!
Well, it was a long day all around, but the surgery went very well and she's awake, back in her own private room (an unexpected bonus, as we were expecting a ward bed), and looking forward to resting up and getting back home again. They took her in shortly after 7am, and finished up around 2:30. She spent another three hours in recovery before I got to see her, but she was in a lot better shape and spirits than the last time I saw them wheel her up from recovery!
She has six drains in, and at least some of them will likely be with her for several weeks. She'll be in hospital anywhere from two to four nights, and I expect the release date will be determined by drains, as was the case last time. They made her put on thigh-high compression stockings beforehand, and she'll have to leave them on until she's up and around and the risk of clotting is past. She'll be on blood thinners as well for a few days.
I'll let Sue tell you the rest when she's back home. All is well!
Monday, December 6, 2010
Living the New Normal
For the first time in more than two years I purchased a bra. It isn't pretty, there's no fancy lace or sexy satin. This is a post-operative sports bra required for my surgery next week. It's pretty exciting.
I have to admit it was a little challenging, after all, what size do I purchase?
I finally had to email the doctor's office to ask. I ended up with a C, my new girls may be a little smaller, but with swelling, dressing etc. I thought it would work.
Today was my pre-admission clinic at the hospital. I had my blood taken, my blood pressure checked, met with a nurse, the anesthesiologist and had an EKG.
I'm ready to roll.
On Monday I have an appointment with the surgeon where he'll make markings to help him during the surgery.
Then, bright and early Tuesday morning, I'll be at the hospital where I'm scheduled for surgery at 8 a.m. It's a seven hour surgery and I'll be hospitalized for two or three days before coming home. I'm hoping everything goes smoothly and by the weekend I can be in the country and do most of my recuperating there. I expect I may have to come back to the city for a check-up between Christmas and New Year's. I'll know more next week.
I have to admit it was a little challenging, after all, what size do I purchase?
I finally had to email the doctor's office to ask. I ended up with a C, my new girls may be a little smaller, but with swelling, dressing etc. I thought it would work.
Today was my pre-admission clinic at the hospital. I had my blood taken, my blood pressure checked, met with a nurse, the anesthesiologist and had an EKG.
I'm ready to roll.
On Monday I have an appointment with the surgeon where he'll make markings to help him during the surgery.
Then, bright and early Tuesday morning, I'll be at the hospital where I'm scheduled for surgery at 8 a.m. It's a seven hour surgery and I'll be hospitalized for two or three days before coming home. I'm hoping everything goes smoothly and by the weekend I can be in the country and do most of my recuperating there. I expect I may have to come back to the city for a check-up between Christmas and New Year's. I'll know more next week.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Understanding the New Normal
On Halloween weekend I was in Toronto at the Canadian Breast Cancer Network’s (CBCN) National Conference for Young Women Living with Breast Cancer “Body, Mind Spirit. It's taken me this long to reflect on the event before I could write about my experiences.
One of my take-a-ways from the conference is it takes time to find a new normal and it isn’t an overnight process. Most of the women I spoke with said when they began engaging with life again they put their energies into new priorities. As one woman aptly put it, “survivorship is a lot of work; it takes time to feel comfortable in your own skin.”
I have to agree with that statement. I worry about every bruise, bump and skin discoloration. I think about the long-term, it's one of the reasons why Rob and I bought the country property. We don't want to put off what makes us truly happy until later, just in case. I look at the recent death of my Aunt Sheren and vow to live for today as well as tomorrow. At 64 she died of lung cancer, after successfully beating back breast cancer close to two decades ago. She was a stalwart supporter of me during my treatment and I'll miss her. She would appreciate what it means to go through reconstruction and would admire the new "girls".
Cancer changes you, whether you want it to or not. It’s not just the physical changes either – the loss of hair, the gain of weight – there are numerous psychological changes as well, and it is how you deal with these changes which really matters.
The conference reinforce those thougths and had something for everyone. There were 36 workshops in total dealing with a diverse range of topics from sexuality and babies after cancer, living green and eating healthy to advocacy and financial health. Exhibits provided information on hair options, reconstruction and various support groups and resources available to women (and their families).
I took the living green workshop, meditation, belly dancing, yoga, advocacy and understanding survivorship. Plus there was a film presentation on Friday evening and our guest speaker on Saturday was cancer survivor Biff Naked. She held the audience spellbound for the hour and half where she shared her story.
However, the best part of the event was the opportunity to hear the stories of othe women. To share their highs and lows, their concerns, their successes and know I've joined a sisterhood of sorts which where there will always be someone who can support me, listen to be and just be there, because she's been there.
I want to say a special thank you to and recognize the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation – Atlantic Region which, through its bursary program, funded the cost of attending the conference including registration, accommodation and airfare. Without their support I wouldn't have had this opportunity.
Thanks as well to Lisa C. who first told me about the conference and the bursary program.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
The Journey Continues
Have you ever wondered what the Hero does when he returns to his village? Does he long for the days on the road, the dust and moments battling monsters? Does he wonder what would have happened if he took the right fork instead of the left? Does he sit back by the fire and enjoy the stories the elders tell of his exploits?
This is why there are sequels. Second, third, tenth books about our hero and the latest adventure. The truth is, once you start out on the road you can never go back to what you were before.
Tomorrow marks the one-year anniversary of the day I received a clean pathology report. It seems like it has been a long journey to get here. One year. It's fitting, I guess, that this week I finally got news about the reconstructive surgery (a little side trip, or my sequel, if you will).
This surgery is about getting firmly on the path to normalcy. I would never have guessed at how difficult it is to not have breasts -- clothes don't fit properly, seat belts slide around and I feel like I hunch forward. Okay, difficult may be a stretch, but I'll be glad to have them again. The new breasts will be my Christmas gift to myself, as the surgery is scheduled for December 14. The good news is the holiday season slows down a bit in my department, so unlike my last leave this one should have minimal impact to the team and will be much shorter.
I'll also be taking another trip, one which would never have happened if it weren't for the cancer. I will be attending the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation Young Women Living with Breast Cancer Conference. The event takes place October 29 to 31 and includes a variety of workshops and speakers dealing with topics from BRCA to living after breast cancer. I'm very excited about the opportunity which is being funded by the Atlantic Region chapter. I will be one of 16 from the region attending. I booked my airfare and hotel today.
While I never want to go through this experience again, surviving breast cancer has provided me with a number of opportunities which would otherwise never be present. For these silver linings and unexpected adventures I am grateful. If the cost is sharing my story, well, it is a toll worth paying.
This is why there are sequels. Second, third, tenth books about our hero and the latest adventure. The truth is, once you start out on the road you can never go back to what you were before.
Tomorrow marks the one-year anniversary of the day I received a clean pathology report. It seems like it has been a long journey to get here. One year. It's fitting, I guess, that this week I finally got news about the reconstructive surgery (a little side trip, or my sequel, if you will).
This surgery is about getting firmly on the path to normalcy. I would never have guessed at how difficult it is to not have breasts -- clothes don't fit properly, seat belts slide around and I feel like I hunch forward. Okay, difficult may be a stretch, but I'll be glad to have them again. The new breasts will be my Christmas gift to myself, as the surgery is scheduled for December 14. The good news is the holiday season slows down a bit in my department, so unlike my last leave this one should have minimal impact to the team and will be much shorter.
I'll also be taking another trip, one which would never have happened if it weren't for the cancer. I will be attending the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation Young Women Living with Breast Cancer Conference. The event takes place October 29 to 31 and includes a variety of workshops and speakers dealing with topics from BRCA to living after breast cancer. I'm very excited about the opportunity which is being funded by the Atlantic Region chapter. I will be one of 16 from the region attending. I booked my airfare and hotel today.
While I never want to go through this experience again, surviving breast cancer has provided me with a number of opportunities which would otherwise never be present. For these silver linings and unexpected adventures I am grateful. If the cost is sharing my story, well, it is a toll worth paying.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Year One Check Up
Wow. I can hardly believe it has been almost a year since I had a double mastectomy.
Today I had my first regular check up with my surgeon. Fortunately I can report everything was fine. She says there are no bumps or any signs of the cancer returning. She also indicated the scars were very nicely healed.
I have to admit I was very apprehensive about this visit. It's been about seven months since radiation finished and more than a year since I finished chemo -- long enough, in my opinion, for something to start growing again. I'm sure these are normal fears for someone who has taken this kind of journey. I was exhausted by the time I got home and I can only imagine this was caused by the strain related to worrying about what this appointment would bring.
My surgeon reminded me again to live a life of "want to dos" instead of a life of "should dos" and she admonished Rob to remind me of this from time to time.
My next appointment with her will likely be in about six months, although that will partially depend on the dates for reconstructive surgery. She seemed somewhat disappointed that I didn't yet have a date scheduled.
My hair has grown quite a bit, it's now about four (maybe five) inches in length and is curly. I'm letting it grow, just because I can and because I've never had curly hair in my life (except for the odd perm here or there.)
Meanwhile, in less than a month we'll take possession of the country property. We're both looking forward to this and trying hard not to count the days because we don't want to rush the summer. Overall, this year is much better than last year and we're very happy to be taking a much more exciting and enjoyable journey.
Today I had my first regular check up with my surgeon. Fortunately I can report everything was fine. She says there are no bumps or any signs of the cancer returning. She also indicated the scars were very nicely healed.
I have to admit I was very apprehensive about this visit. It's been about seven months since radiation finished and more than a year since I finished chemo -- long enough, in my opinion, for something to start growing again. I'm sure these are normal fears for someone who has taken this kind of journey. I was exhausted by the time I got home and I can only imagine this was caused by the strain related to worrying about what this appointment would bring.
My surgeon reminded me again to live a life of "want to dos" instead of a life of "should dos" and she admonished Rob to remind me of this from time to time.
My next appointment with her will likely be in about six months, although that will partially depend on the dates for reconstructive surgery. She seemed somewhat disappointed that I didn't yet have a date scheduled.
My hair has grown quite a bit, it's now about four (maybe five) inches in length and is curly. I'm letting it grow, just because I can and because I've never had curly hair in my life (except for the odd perm here or there.)
Meanwhile, in less than a month we'll take possession of the country property. We're both looking forward to this and trying hard not to count the days because we don't want to rush the summer. Overall, this year is much better than last year and we're very happy to be taking a much more exciting and enjoyable journey.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Working Full Time
It's happened. I've just wrapped up my first week of full-time hours; my first full month back in the office. As with every part of my journey, I've relied heavily on my mentors and teachers to get me through.
Going back to work has been a huge adjustment. While my energy is pretty good overall, the first few weeks I found myself completely wiped out by Friday night. This week, isn't quite as bad and that's quite impressive considering one late night when the girls and I went to see a movie and two nights of restless sleep.
Kelly and Marion, as always, have been incredibly supportive. Deb B spend countless hours the first week getting me set up with computer access and in general hooked up with the IT group. The rest of my team: Julie, Bob, Kathy, Mike, Socrates, Jon and Shawn have all be extremely helpful and exceptionally patient as I tackle new projects and play catch-up. Bob is setting up another session with me to go over some our training goals and guidelines. He's our project manager and has been infinitely patient with my myriad questions and occasional bumbling. He put it very succinctly today when he said "You must feel like Rip Van Winkle." And it is true; by times I feel like I'm still wearing hoop skirts while the rest of the team is operating flying cars.
In general my return to work has been quite smooth. And I owe it to a wonderful team, an excellent group at the call center and wonderful peers in other departments. I'm very lucky.
With all that said, I am looking forward to my first long weekend. It's amazing how much more important weekends become when you're working every other day. I'm planning strawberry picking with the girls, some hiking with my boys (Rob and Cole) and probably visiting the local farmer's market.
I'm still waiting for a date for reconstructive surgery. The plastic surgeon was only given two surgery dates all summer and these are being reserved for emergency surgeries. Meanwhile, I have a follow-up appointment with the surgeon who did my mastectomy on August 2. I can't believe it is more than a year since I finished my final chemo and almost a year since I had surgery.
Going back to work has been a huge adjustment. While my energy is pretty good overall, the first few weeks I found myself completely wiped out by Friday night. This week, isn't quite as bad and that's quite impressive considering one late night when the girls and I went to see a movie and two nights of restless sleep.
Kelly and Marion, as always, have been incredibly supportive. Deb B spend countless hours the first week getting me set up with computer access and in general hooked up with the IT group. The rest of my team: Julie, Bob, Kathy, Mike, Socrates, Jon and Shawn have all be extremely helpful and exceptionally patient as I tackle new projects and play catch-up. Bob is setting up another session with me to go over some our training goals and guidelines. He's our project manager and has been infinitely patient with my myriad questions and occasional bumbling. He put it very succinctly today when he said "You must feel like Rip Van Winkle." And it is true; by times I feel like I'm still wearing hoop skirts while the rest of the team is operating flying cars.
In general my return to work has been quite smooth. And I owe it to a wonderful team, an excellent group at the call center and wonderful peers in other departments. I'm very lucky.
With all that said, I am looking forward to my first long weekend. It's amazing how much more important weekends become when you're working every other day. I'm planning strawberry picking with the girls, some hiking with my boys (Rob and Cole) and probably visiting the local farmer's market.
I'm still waiting for a date for reconstructive surgery. The plastic surgeon was only given two surgery dates all summer and these are being reserved for emergency surgeries. Meanwhile, I have a follow-up appointment with the surgeon who did my mastectomy on August 2. I can't believe it is more than a year since I finished my final chemo and almost a year since I had surgery.
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